A lot of things have happened in my life since the last time I blogged. Some were good. But most of them have been really trying and tiring, causing me to take a step back from most of my online presence, especially in FOSS (and, ironically, picking up again some old pastimes).
But that phase of my life has ended. Last month, my grandmother died. She has been with us even before I was born and has been an important part of my life. I have been with her day in and day out at home for the past 6 to 7 years, acting as both guardian and caregiver. I do not deny that there were really painful moments during that time and I would whine and complain and even blame her for some things in my life. But I persisted. Because, deep down inside, I loved her. The last two weeks of her life was especially painful, not only for us, but for her as well, as her health very quickly deteriorated. My name was the last word she was able to say the night before she died. I miss her a lot. Almost everyday and everything so far has been a reminder that she’s gone for good. I love you Lola!
But equally important as the things that happened, are the things that didn’t happen, which I can sum up in a simple phrase: “a lot!” My contribution to KDE has practically dropped off the planet. I can’t even remember when or what my last concrete/visible contribution was. The one or two personal software projects I had are practically stillborn, and many more “project ideas” were simply left as notes on paper. Despite my seemingly innate talent for writing lengthily, my blog practically remains untouched. And even with some very nifty gadgets (with another one on the way this weekend), I have yet to develop another mobile app aside from Flash Strobe for the N900.
But it is the start of a new phase in my life, one that I have looked forward to both with excitement and dread. Now I can find a job again. No, I meant I have to find a job. I don’t know how much that will affect rebooting my FOSS involvement, but since everyone is practically doing it, I guess it’s not impossible. Heck, maybe having a job might actually help boost my activity.
Now excuse me while I wait for my N9 to arrive. :D
Author: Bugsbane
Date: 12 July, 01:29 AM
I’m sure it’s been painful, and I’m sorry you had to experience that. Ultimately though death can sometimes be the reminder we need, to get on with living while we have the chance. All the best with finding an income that brings out your passions and creativity. Hopefully we’ll see you continue to share some of them with the rest of us in the KDE community. :)
Most of all, remember to look after yourself, too.
Author: Planet_Reader
Date: 12 July, 06:43 AM
My condolences.
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Good luck. Have fun.
Author: Jucato
Date: 14 July, 01:03 AM
Thank you for your kind words.
It is indeed a kind of reminder to ask ourselves how do we want to be remembered when we die, what our legacy will be to those whom we’ve touched with our lives and those whom we live behind.
Hoping to find a job that’s open source-related, or at least will not be a hindrance to contributing to KDE. :)